The Shaping Power of Friendships (Part 1 of 4)

 “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” 

This statement, made by an older man to a younger one, echoes an important theme in the book of Proverbs. The theme of the shaping power of friendships.

In this short series of four posts, I want to explore what Proverbs has to say about the impact friends have on our lives.  In this first post I’ll make the case for the shaping power of friendships by highlighting two key passages from Proverbs.

“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” (Proverbs 22:24-25)

Here we are warned not to become close friends with a hot head.  Why not?  So we don’t “learn his ways.”  The Hebrew word translated “ways” means “path.”  If we travel through life with an angry person, we may start following his or her path.  Even if we are not naturally hot-tempered, we learn to be. 

That’s because the friends we have shape the person we become. This leads to a second key verse from Proverbs.

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20)

If we walk closely with wise people, we’ll benefit.  But if we choose foolish companions, we’ll suffer for it.  The Message Version of Proverbs 13:20 reads, “Hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.”

This doesn’t mean we are to avoid everyone not walking on God’s path.  After All, Jesus was a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19).  But our closest, most intimate friends should be those who help move us towards godliness. 

So, let me ask you: who are your nearest and dearest friends?  Think of their names.  Are these friends moving you closer to Christ?  Are they pulling you further from him? 

Remember:  friendships shape us in deep and lasting ways.  Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

In my next post, we’ll explore what Proverbs about how to choose true and trusted friends.